Posted on August 14, 2019
By Nan Russell
When we lived on the East Coast a few decades back, we saw the musical, Wicked, on Broadway. So recently, when the traveling show came west, we were excited to share it with our granddaughters and their parents. As the closing duet, “For Good,” started, so did my tears. The words, “because I knew you, I’ve been changed for the better; changed for good,” got me thinking in this, our anniversary month, about our marriage and my life.
The tangible results of us falling in love includes two girls, ages nine and twelve, who call us Nana and GrDad and delight our lives. Plus their father, whose creative zest and loving ways make us proud, and an amazing daughter-in-law who completes our family with authentic warmth and grace. All four, by their very existence, nudge me toward my better side.
But the intangible impact of falling in love with this man who shares my life is profound. I am a better person because I know him; love him; learn from him. I am more tolerant, loving, curious, adventuresome, joyful, and optimistic because sharing a life with him has enabled me to become a better me.
Don’t misunderstand. I’m not claiming some magical happily-ever-after fairy tale experience. I don’t profess a marriage without mistakes, scars, or life-happens-shifts that challenged, pushed, and (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: better person, contribution to my life, for good, In the Scheme of Things, knowing you, life, love and marriage, marriage, Nan Russell, relationships, wedding anniversary |
Posted on February 11, 2019
By Nan Russell
In this month of hearts and proclamations of love, something that happened a decade ago, captured like a digital photo with its image held in my memory until called up, was triggered for me by an observation on a recent wintry weekend.
While waiting for our lunch order to arrive, I noticed a mother and teen daughter, seated at an adjacent table, attempting a conversation. The daughter started to tell her mother about school, but with each holding a cell phone and responding to incoming sounds and vibrations, the conversation was frequently paused. Eventually their attempt at conversing stopped, replaced with phone immersion by both as they quietly ate their salads
That brief encounter triggered a memory I didn’t know was stored, about me and my mother at our breakfast table. At the time, we were living in Montana and my mother, then in her late 80s, spent summers with us. Like a movie trailer, the memory offered a glimpse of me cajoling, enticing, encouraging, and coaxing her to take her pills so I could get to my “real work.” Lyrics from a Stephen Stills song, performed by Crosby, Stills, and Nash, “love the one you’re with,” played with a different take in my mind from the song’s intended theme.
The snapshot is clear that I wasn’t particularly engaged, nor loving. I was annoyed at (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, It's Not About Time, Life |
Tagged: being with people, connections, In the Scheme of Things, life, love, memories, Nan Russell, perspective, showing up, time, what matters |
Posted on May 4, 2018
By Nan Russell
My husband gave me a card at the beginning of 2018 that’s been standing on my dresser ever since. I see its message when I wake up or wander into the bedroom. There’s a picture of an early sunrise on a distant horizon, its light spreading across an ocean with no land in sight. A figure on the deck of a sailboat watches the emerging colors in the sky.
Across the card, in large elegant font, are these words — simplistic on one level; profound on another — “Every day is a gift.” The card serves as a reminder and a nudge to me: a reminder of no promised tomorrows for any of us, and a nudge to consciously use well the time I have.
I do want to live that way. Most mornings I read the words, deciding that, yes, every day is a gift and my best use of this day should reflect that gratitude and understanding. Yet, more often than I’d like, that’s not what happens.
I’m guilty of losing perspective or numbing out to the preciousness of these non-renewable days, until something tragic, or frightening, or significant happens to shake me awake for a time. I’m guilty of routinely applying habits for getting things done, or getting caught up in the “doing,” without self-awareness about what I’m doing or who I’m “becoming” or “being” in the process. And I’m guilty of (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: a day is a gift, being alive, dance to life's music, future, In the Scheme of Things, life, Nan Russell, stop saving for special occasions, sunrise |
Posted on November 24, 2015
By Beth Pelkofsky
I’m a colleague of Nan’s. I regularly post here about work, life and sometimes the merging of the two. In the next several days many of us will be thinking about the people, the places and the things we’re thankful for as we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What we may not realize is, being thankful throughout the year can have tremendous health benefits for us and it is free! This week, I did some fact-finding* and research* on why it is healthy to practice gratitude every day. I thought I would share it here.
So, what is gratitude? Why is it healthy? And, how do you practice it?
According to Merriam-Webster it is a feeling of thankfulness.
Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California at Davis, a leading researcher in a growing field, called (continue reading →)
Posted in: Life, Tips |
Tagged: appreciation, attitude of gratitude, creative, gratitude, health, journal, life, optimistic, relationships, sleep, stress, thanksgiving |
Posted on October 27, 2015
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s I often post here about work and sometimes life. During the past several weeks, I’ve been reconnecting with an old friend and colleague*. We’ve both had our share of life happen moments in the past decade. And, as we sat discussing some of the highs and lows of our lives; I realized how much I had missed her.
Life Happen moments can be those we choose like buying a car, getting married, having children, or ones we don’t like a death of a family member or close friend, unexpected accidents, losing a job. All change our lives. Yet those we don’t choose, often sap our energy, self-esteem and beliefs, leaving us lost and confused. So today, I thought I’d share a few of our life lessons:
Be Curious – Remember back when you were a child and nearly every sentence began with why. And remember Curious George and his exciting adventures. Start with that wonder and inquisitiveness.
Not Helpful – Your thoughts are spiraling out of control. Imagining all the what ifs. You’re stuck. Try saying these four words – This Is Not Helpful – like a mantra. It is simple and it works.
Don’t Label It – The second you label something good (continue reading →)
Posted in: Life, Tips |
Tagged: beliefs, Beth Pelkofsky, change, curious, difference, label, life, life happens, not helpful, sense, wonder |
Posted on August 4, 2015
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s I often post here (though it has been several weeks) about work, life and sometimes how intertwined they often are. Recently, I had a rare opportunity to ‘hang’ with my almost 27 year old son for a couple of months. He is one of those humans who lives ‘in the moment’ and being with him I experienced it first-hand. How do you do that, I asked him one evening as we drove on a dark twisted unpaved road in Costa Rica; on our way to a restaurant someone mentioned prepared delicious local dishes. He shrugged his shoulders, “I guess I am more comfortable being uncomfortable.” I’ve been thinking about that idea on and off since. Wondering what that might look like for me. So, I’ve identified a few situations where I’m uncomfortable. Here’s where I landed —
Asking for Help – I don’t know about you but this is a big UNCOMFORTABLE for me. Maybe you don’t want to seem foolish. Or stupid. Or dependent. Or needy. Or imperfect. Not knowing how to do something or (continue reading →)
Posted in: Life, Tips |
Tagged: asking for help, beliefs, Beth Pelkofsky, comfortable, Compassion, failing, life, listening, saying no, skillful, uncomfortable |
Posted on June 16, 2015
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s I regularly post here about work and sometimes life. My family and friends have been known to describe me as a people watcher. Take me to a sporting event and I’m checking out the fans, at a concert I’m scanning for the groupies and in a busy airport my head is on a high speed wobble! This time of a year happens to be my favorite for people watching. I love observing excited vacationers for hours on the beach and the boardwalk. You can learn quite a bit. In the same way, I’ve learned the value of watching myself. It’s a bit harder than watching others but here are three ways I do it:
Schedule Self-Appointments
I schedule dedicated time on my calendar every week to think, plan and analyze. I review my to-do list. I check my progress on projects. Assess my someday-maybe list. I ask myself questions like: What is working? What isn’t? What do I need to move forward? How should I do that? Focused attention brings real results.
Listen to Your Words
Our words matter. The connections between words (continue reading →)
Posted in: Tips |
Tagged: appointments, behavior, Beth Pelkofsky, focus, habits, learn, life, listen, progress, projects, watch, watch yourself, words matter |
Posted on May 8, 2015
By Nan Russell
“Why are you always working?” My mother’s voice echoes now in my head. It was a question she frequently raised over the years about my career, especially when she felt I was overstressed or losing my work-life balance. “I like working,” I’d always answer. And that would usually be that. At least until she asked again.
When I was little, my mother was the only woman on our block who worked outside the home. She started out of necessity during difficult financial times for our family, when I was four, continuing past my college graduation. She worked beyond when she “had to,” finding satisfaction in contributing at a job she liked. Still, for her, work and life were always separate, and her “life” was what happened outside of work.
That’s not the case with me. Maybe it was because (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things |
Tagged: balance, choice, life, life vs. work, Nan Russell, Nan S. Russell, time, work |
Posted on December 31, 2014
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s, I often post here when things grab my attention about today’s workplace and sometimes, life. I worked a good part of my career in a company, where we frequently said the “C” in its name stood for change. It was continuous and constant. And, as odd as it may sound, it was something we could count on, came to expect. No day was the same! Perhaps, a few things didn’t change but most things did. While it kept the work new and exciting, it was often frustrating.
Similarly, there are times of the year where we expect change: as seasons begin and end, and holida
ys come and go; life events like births, weddings and deaths and workplace happenings including new jobs, new bosses and job losses. Plus, many more! These are changes we know and during our life we come to expect. But, what about all those other changes – some we choose, others not so much.
There are thousands of writings on this topic: entire books, articles, blogs and effective models dedicated to dealing, coping or embracing change in life, (continue reading →)
Posted in: Tips |
Tagged: acceptance, action, awareness, Beth Pelkofsky, change, life, perspective, stability, workplace |
When we lived on the East Coast a few decades back, we saw the musical, Wicked, on Broadway. So recently, when the traveling show came west, we were excited to share it with our granddaughters and their parents. As the closing duet, “For Good,” started, so did my tears. The words, “because I knew you, I’ve been changed for the better; changed for good,” got me thinking in this, our anniversary month, about our marriage and my life.
