Posted on June 6, 2019
By Nan Russell
Ours wasn’t a big house, but at night my bedroom at the end of the hall seemed a great distance. Plus the windowed door at the foot of my bed, leading to our back yard, appeared as a magical portal for nighttime monster entry. When I was old enough to know there weren’t monsters waiting in my room, I still anguished over the walk to that dark place.
Even into my teens I longed to ask mom or dad or my older brother to walk me to my room and check for monsters. But by then I understood I was responsible to handle them. Lighting the bedroom was step one. That involved a rapid move to the end of the hall, then a quick reach around the door jamb to turn on the light switch. The light transformed my room into one where stuffed animals rested on a pink bedspread, and purple butterflies graced the walls.
I don’t remember when my bedroom monster-hunting ended, but I do know I’ve been battling various monsters most years since. Not the ones who lurk in closets or under beds, but those that impact (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: aging, beliefs, critic, don't believe everything you think, getting older, gray hair, In the Scheme of Things, mind monsters, Nan Russell, Nan S. Russell, self perception, self worth, shadow thoughts, taming monsters |
Posted on August 8, 2018
By Nan Russell
Last week, I ordered an item from the world’s largest retailer. While it arrived quickly, its contents were not as expected. The plastic that held the toe protectors was taped, the items stretched, and the gel-lined fabric dirty. How did such a used product get resold as new?
I expect occasional quality issues when I buy online at an auction or estate site for my vintage shops, but not from the world’s biggest retailer. My expectation is people who work for that organization are engaged enough to notice dirty toe protectors and empowered enough to decide they can’t be resold. I also expect it’s an outlier and won’t happen again.
But expectations are funny things. They’re beliefs about what should happen, how it should happen, or that it will or won’t happen. We all have them about everything from food and movies to places and people. We’re influenced by what we expect to find. If we think online retailers sell junk, we won’t be disappointed if that’s what we get. Expect terrible bosses, difficult spouses, or untrustworthy people and you’ll find them; expect engaged, compassionate, and wonderful people and you’ll find them.
Some believe if you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed. Others say (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things |
Tagged: beliefs, doing it, dreams, engagement, expectations, future, In the Scheme of Things, let your life speak, limiting beliefs, make a difference, Nan Russell |
Posted on February 22, 2016
By Nan Russell
There’s a line in the movie Gracie that I love. Gracie is a teenager in the 70s who is competing for a spot on the boy’s high school varsity soccer team. In one scene, dejected and on the verge of giving up, her mother, played by Elizabeth Shue, tells her, “If you want to limit yourself, that’s fine. But don’t let other people do it for you.”
Most of us do an impressive job of impeding our own paths with our detrimental self-talk, minimized confidence, and self-esteem doubts without any help from naysayers. Still, too often we blame those others, not ourselves, for shrinking our dreams, aspirations, and goals. We don’t realize that sticking someone else’s critical words or limiting labels to our life potential is our choice.
It’s easier to let the people who challenge us determine our resolve; easier to relinquish our power to the boss who reviews us, believing somehow what she says we’re capable of achieving or not achieving is truth, not opinion. And it’s easier to apply societal headlines that equate money or title or possessions with personal value, than to establish what matters for our own lives.
It’s true that piercing words, harsh feedback, or demeaning critics can diminish our courage or cause us to change direction. That’s why in this age of instant messaging, anonymous blog ramblings, and self-appointed “experts,” thick skin is a prerequisite for anyone who wants to be winning at working.
In virtually every work situation you face, there will be 30 percent of people who (continue reading →)
Posted in: Tips, Winning at Working |
Tagged: beliefs, critique, feedback, grow thicker skin, Nan Russell, positive feedback, self-talk, thick skin, Winning at Working |
Posted on February 17, 2016
By Beth Pelkofsky
I’m a colleague of Nan’s. I regularly post here about work, life and sometimes the blending of the two.
On average Americans work 47 hours a week. Yet, according to a recent Gallup Poll – only 32% of workers are engaged at work. Plus, to some work is an unpleasant four-letter word. We spend more than a third of our day where we aren’t engaged. So, what to do about it?
I went looking for ideas and inspiration. Here’s what I discovered from a few successful entrepreneurs and respected thinkers – the biggest index for success is – find something you believe in and love to do.
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer
“Really getting to do what you love to do everyday–that’s really the ultimate luxury. And particularly when you get to do it with terrific people around you.” – Warren Buffet 
“You have to really love and believe in what you’re doing. I think that’s the most important thing. If you start to build something … it’s hard and you encounter a lot of challenges. If you don’t completely love and believe in what you’re doing, it actually ends up being the rational thing for you to stop doing it or succumb to some of the challenges, because there will be huge challenges that you face …” – Mark Zuckerberg
“Believe in your instincts, and (continue reading →)
Posted in: Tips, Today's Workplace |
Tagged: beliefs, believe, challenges, engaged, entrepeneurs, happiness, love, respected thinkers, success, trust, work |
Posted on October 27, 2015
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s I often post here about work and sometimes life. During the past several weeks, I’ve been reconnecting with an old friend and colleague*. We’ve both had our share of life happen moments in the past decade. And, as we sat discussing some of the highs and lows of our lives; I realized how much I had missed her.
Life Happen moments can be those we choose like buying a car, getting married, having children, or ones we don’t like a death of a family member or close friend, unexpected accidents, losing a job. All change our lives. Yet those we don’t choose, often sap our energy, self-esteem and beliefs, leaving us lost and confused. So today, I thought I’d share a few of our life lessons:
Be Curious – Remember back when you were a child and nearly every sentence began with why. And remember Curious George and his exciting adventures. Start with that wonder and inquisitiveness.
Not Helpful – Your thoughts are spiraling out of control. Imagining all the what ifs. You’re stuck. Try saying these four words – This Is Not Helpful – like a mantra. It is simple and it works.
Don’t Label It – The second you label something good (continue reading →)
Posted in: Life, Tips |
Tagged: beliefs, Beth Pelkofsky, change, curious, difference, label, life, life happens, not helpful, sense, wonder |
Posted on August 4, 2015
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s I often post here (though it has been several weeks) about work, life and sometimes how intertwined they often are. Recently, I had a rare opportunity to ‘hang’ with my almost 27 year old son for a couple of months. He is one of those humans who lives ‘in the moment’ and being with him I experienced it first-hand. How do you do that, I asked him one evening as we drove on a dark twisted unpaved road in Costa Rica; on our way to a restaurant someone mentioned prepared delicious local dishes. He shrugged his shoulders, “I guess I am more comfortable being uncomfortable.” I’ve been thinking about that idea on and off since. Wondering what that might look like for me. So, I’ve identified a few situations where I’m uncomfortable. Here’s where I landed —
Asking for Help – I don’t know about you but this is a big UNCOMFORTABLE for me. Maybe you don’t want to seem foolish. Or stupid. Or dependent. Or needy. Or imperfect. Not knowing how to do something or (continue reading →)
Posted in: Life, Tips |
Tagged: asking for help, beliefs, Beth Pelkofsky, comfortable, Compassion, failing, life, listening, saying no, skillful, uncomfortable |
Posted on December 3, 2014
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s, I regularly post here when things grab my attention about today’s workplace and sometimes, life. A few years ago, I helped a close friend move to a new home. While packing some of her cherished books, I stumbled upon: This I Believe written in Association with NPR. I did my usual quick flip through and then put it aside to read later. Since then, I’ve picked it up a few times. It is a collection of personal philosophies of remarkable men and women, some famous others not; completing the thought that begins the title of the book.
Over the weekend, I noticed it again on my book shelf and it got me thinking – What do I believe? What do others believe? Does it matter? I believe it does. For our beliefs grow from what we see, hear, experience, read and think as we go through life. They guide our actions, attitudes and relationships with ourselves and others. Some we have in common, others are different. I thought I would share several of mine with the desire to spark a dialogue of what you believe.
So, here goes. I BELIEVE
Share what you believe
We are all connected, what I do, what you do, what strangers do, what folks do in other regions of the world, there is a continuous energy or force connecting all of us.
Some of the most valuable parts of life are not visible.
Giving my word is the same (continue reading →)
Posted in: Uncategorized |
Tagged: beliefs, Beth Pelkofsky, commitment, connect, hope, inspiration, laughing, nature, perspective, relationships |
Posted on September 23, 2014
By Beth Pelkofsky
As a colleague of Nan’s, I often post here when things grab my attention about today’s workplace and sometimes, life. This week I thought I’d share a recent conversation I had with a close friend. She is in a tough spot at work; her personal values and beliefs are in conflict with those of her employer’s. Sound familiar? This situation is fairly common in today’s work climate. The question is – What to do about it?
We talked for quite a bit. Here are three ideas to spark your own thinking.
“It is not your environment; it is you – the quality of your mind, the integrity of your soul, the determination of your will – that will decide your future and shape your life.” – Benjamin E. Mays
Know Who You Are
Name three characteristics that describe you. What do you stand for? How do others perceive you? What can you compromise? There is strength in knowing who you are. Strength needed to make good decisions, (continue reading →)
Posted in: Tips |
Tagged: beliefs, Beth Pelkofsky, choice, conflict, culture, decision, differing values, personal values, strength, work climate, workplace |
Posted on November 9, 2013
By Nan Russell
I like teaching workshops. On one hand, I’m humbled by the knowledge, insights, and challenges of those attending. I’m invigorated by the persistence and passion woven into the stories that unfold. And I’m grateful for the real-world perspectives of people who are focused on doing a great job and making a difference at work.
Sometimes, though, I’m surprised by the antique-mindsets, narrow thinking, and last century’s approaches that show up. Occasionally, a strong-voiced person attempts to spew negativity, closed-mindedness, or woe-is-me tales. But on rare days, I’m left stunned. That’s what happened recently.
We were discussing the power of beliefs and expectations, and the concept behind “The Pygmalion Effect:” i.e. where people experience that others “tend to behave as you expect they will.” What happens is we act in accordance with our expectations, which in turn, (continue reading →)
Posted in: Winning at Working |
Tagged: beliefs, expectations, Nan Russell, trust, Winning at Working |
Ours wasn’t a big house, but at night my bedroom at the end of the hall seemed a great distance. Plus the windowed door at the foot of my bed, leading to our back yard, appeared as a magical portal for nighttime monster entry. When I was old enough to know there weren’t monsters waiting in my room, I still anguished over the walk to that dark place.
