Posted on May 4, 2018
By Nan Russell
My husband gave me a card at the beginning of 2018 that’s been standing on my dresser ever since. I see its message when I wake up or wander into the bedroom. There’s a picture of an early sunrise on a distant horizon, its light spreading across an ocean with no land in sight. A figure on the deck of a sailboat watches the emerging colors in the sky.
Across the card, in large elegant font, are these words — simplistic on one level; profound on another — “Every day is a gift.” The card serves as a reminder and a nudge to me: a reminder of no promised tomorrows for any of us, and a nudge to consciously use well the time I have.
I do want to live that way. Most mornings I read the words, deciding that, yes, every day is a gift and my best use of this day should reflect that gratitude and understanding. Yet, more often than I’d like, that’s not what happens.
I’m guilty of losing perspective or numbing out to the preciousness of these non-renewable days, until something tragic, or frightening, or significant happens to shake me awake for a time. I’m guilty of routinely applying habits for getting things done, or getting caught up in the “doing,” without self-awareness about what I’m doing or who I’m “becoming” or “being” in the process. And I’m guilty of (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: a day is a gift, being alive, dance to life's music, future, In the Scheme of Things, life, Nan Russell, stop saving for special occasions, sunrise |
Posted on April 10, 2018
By Nan Russell
I’m not sure when it started, but for me it was the early 1990s. I was living and working on the east coast and remember the day I saw it invade my everyday world; even telling my husband that night. Today it’s a ubiquitous style.
Back then, common etiquette meant pausing before speaking to insure the other person was finished. On that day I watched a hostile verbal-take-over as the person wanting the floor simply talked over the other person until he yielded. They weren’t debating a heated topic; he merely wanted to change the focus.
Like many cultural changes, verbal-take-overs arrived in dribs and drabs until we adjusted to them. In a few years, the no-pause speaking overlay style frequented everything from meetings and basic conversations to news channels and talk shows. I even perfected my own style which became a necessity in some workplaces. Time was short and verbal-take-overs signaled “move along,” albeit with rudeness.
Another no-pause style took root around the same time. I noticed it first on my regular commute as drivers made a no-pause choice more and more frequently at stop signs, crosswalks, and red lights. Now I see another no-pause emerging. This week at a museum exhibit, a young woman wanted to see what I was looking at but couldn’t wait the 20 seconds for me to finish reading the sign, so she (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things |
Tagged: important issues, In the Scheme of Things, losing the pause, move along, Nan Russell, operate with a pause, talking over |
Posted on March 12, 2018
By Nan Russell
In my local paper there’s a column of reader comments. People leave input, “no more than 30 seconds” on a call-in line. Each day a few of these short statements comprise the section. While occasionally there’s a thank you for a random act of kindness or a plea to include grateful messages, most are in the against-it camp, even suggesting, at times, those who disagree should “move to another planet.”
Like a toxic vine, being against-it, whatever “it” is, seems to be burrowing deep into our cultural mindset, modeled with fervor of late in the political arena. What one party is for, the other is against. Even before an idea makes it to twitter or the blogosphere, opposing party pundits and representatives rail against whatever approach the other side might be considering.
But before finger-pointing and smugness gets the better of us, consider that the against-it road is alive in most workplaces, communities, organizations, schools, and homes. The labels are different: it’s the boss or the staff, the parents or the teachers, the rich or the not-rich, the corporations or the “real” people, the women or the men, the baby-boomers or the millennials.
Being against something is so much easier; even easier still when all you have to do is retweet or “like” a post. No thinking required. When we follow the against-it path, we don’t have to be (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: conflict, finger pointing, for or against, In the Scheme of Things, like or dislike, Nan Russell, retweet, soul courage, stand up for something, what you value |
Posted on February 14, 2018
By Nan Russell
When we arrived, I found three familiar bent heads focused on the remaining pieces spread around the not-yet-finished jigsaw puzzle on the coffee table. In time, those pieces evolved into a whimsical cat picture, the process of which absorbed a variety of extended family members, from 8 to mid 70s, over a snowy holiday weekend. Various family came to linger in the living room, trying their hand at puzzle creation; searching for a likely piece, placing it in their imagined spot, and then returning it to the table once their attempt failed.
We’ve all seen or been engrossed by such endeavors. But this one caught my attention. It hindered a quick finish with its limited color differentiations, causing drop outs unwilling to invest more time without clear progress. After all, there were other family engagement options during our days together, from “Just Dance” video game challenges to pie making.
By our second day, two puzzle-players remained. Determined to finish, they rarely moved from their homesteaded-spots on the couch and adjacent chair. By evening, the puzzle was as done as it would ever be — complete but not completed. With one piece missing, technically, the picture would never be “finished.”
I’ve thought about that weekend several times since, with its intensity of effort, missing piece frustration, and then acceptance of the puzzle’s imperfection. Lost. Missing. Never received? Who knows why the piece wasn’t there. It didn’t matter; it was still fun.
But the experience got me thinking. We all have a missing piece or two at times in ourselves or in our lives; pieces like (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, It's Not About Time, Life |
Tagged: In the Scheme of Things, love the journey, missing from our life, missing piece, Nan Russell, play without all the pieces, puzzle |
Posted on January 5, 2018
By Nan Russell
New Year new you articles, ads, and promotions are ubiquitous, pushing everything from gym memberships and healthy meal-kit delivery, to accountability coaches and meditation apps. They attempt to nudge us to climb aboard the reset, start new, or try-again bandwagons. There’s money to make when 92-percent of us don’t achieve our resolutions each year.
But, this time I’m not climbing aboard. I’m not interested in short bursts that fade, only to be resurrected again next year from guilt, despair, or should-dos, rather than genuine self-awareness and conscious choice.
Granted, I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions anyway. I believe incremental progress over time is a better approach to sustainable results. Even so, I’ve made dozens of resolutions through the years, sprinkled with good intentions and magical thinking, hoping this time it’ll be different — that I’ll lose the weight, conquer bad habits, or achieve that dreamed about goal. Some years I’ve made it into the 8-percent who achieved their resolutions group, but most years I haven’t.
I don’t want a mulligan on last year’s missed accomplishments, a do-over to try to hit missed goals, or a renewed desire to cross something of a life-to-do-list. After all, doing the same thing yields, more likely than not, the same results. I want (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: change, In the Scheme of Things, Nan Russell, never enough time, New Year New You, resolutions, shifting time, time as life's currency, time choice |
Posted on December 6, 2017
By Nan Russell
That year, Christmas was just another task on my to-do list. No magical feelings of the season took hold; no yuletide cheer; no gleeful joy; no warmth of goodwill; no sense of spirit. It was just more stuff to do. But, it was that Christmas that changed my thinking.
Come back with me a few decades. Somewhere between moving from California to Pennsylvania, starting a new job, buying a house, and juggling childcare logistics in a state where we knew no one, I was neck-deep in life-overload as Christmas approached.
But, I was determined to make it a special one for our family of three since it was our first Christmas away from our families. I used sleep-time to write personalized cards heralding our address change, decorated the house before work, insisted on baking cookies at night, and agonized over the perfect gifts to be bought, wrapped, and mailed to California relatives. As the day approached, my exhaustion took hold, but my festive enthusiasm didn’t.
I was convinced it would all be worthwhile watching our son’s delight opening presents. My husband tried to calm my growing to-do list with common sense which I chose to overlook. I went overboard decorating a house still void of furniture and hunting endlessly for the season’s must-have toys for our only child. Instead of a handful of gifts he had dozens. I visualized how thrilled he’d be with each, convincing myself it was only his delight I sought.
Christmas morning arrived and delight from him was not what I got. Instead of a joyful day (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: Christmas, gift of time, give the gift of time, how we spend our time, In the Scheme of Things, It's Not About Time, Nan S. Russell, stress at Christmas, the holidays |
Posted on November 13, 2017
By Nan Russell
“We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.” ~ Roger Ebert
Some people collect coins or books, kaleidoscopes or post cards. While I can add my name to tangible collections through the years, what I really collect is quotations that speak to me, like the one above. As if a treasure unearthed, when I find a quotation that nudges me, inspires me, or touches my soul, I savor it.
I added this one to my collection after the 2013 death of Pulitzer Prize winner and acclaimed film critic Roger Ebert, whose cancer battle left him unable to speak for the last few years of his life.
While reading about his life, I found his words humbling. They were written by Ebert after more than a decade with debilitating and disfiguring health issues. I’m grateful to have found Ebert’s words. Every time I read them, they encourage me to try a bit harder, to be less self-absorbed, and to contribute more joy.
It’s not hard to contribute a bit of joy every day — acknowledging others’ contributions, holding the door, smiling at a stranger, being there for family or friends, helping a neighbor, listening without judgment, or telling someone how much we care.
Still, we often don’t. We get caught in our swirl of life — our own busyness and dramas and troubles — absorbed in (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: a bit of joy, better world, In the Scheme of Things, joyful, kind, more joy, Nan Russell, Nan S. Russell, Roger Ebert, show up, thanksgiving, tolerant |
Posted on October 9, 2017
By Nan Russell
My goal when traveling is to travel light. But less than half the time I achieve that goal. Despite or maybe because of a strong planning tendency, I’m frequently faced with piles of “absolutely-needed” or “just-in-case” stuff that even my spatially-challenged mind knows won’t fit into a medium suitcase. Wading through the items to determine what goes and stays yields a better outcome. But rarely does it eliminate taking more than I need.
Packing amnesia sets in as I forget how encumbered I feel in the actual traveling part. That’s what happened recently on our Ireland vacation. My barely-able-to-close medium suitcase became an annoying daily struggle to find things, repack, and maneuver. All the stuff I brought felt physically and emotionally weighty and confining.
I’ve come to realize life is a lot like my packing. Despite good intentions and self-reflection, (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: baggage, disappointments, emotional baggage, In the Scheme of Things, limiting beliefs, mistakes, Nan Russell, self-doubt, self-filling prophesies, shouldn'ts, shoulds, the past, travel light |
Posted on September 7, 2017
By Nan Russell
“Nan-a!” her voice held displeasure. “You wore that last week; why do you wear that t-shirt so much?” “It’s my favorite,” I told my 7-year-old granddaughter. “I got it on our first Hawaii vacation when your dad was just a teenager.” I didn’t tell her I bought it when my optimism about people and the world was intact; a time when I was idealistic, or naïve, depending on perspective. In the years since, reality cracks, weathered-edges, and life experiences have augmented and enhanced my views.
Still, that t-shirt is my favorite; not because of its decades-old fabric, although I love its soft feel, and not because it holds memories of exploring Volcano National Park as a young family. No. This worn, turquoise patterned t-shirt is my favorite because it speaks to me.
“No Rain — No Rainbows” the front reads, with “Kimos Rules” on the back — everything from “Never judge a day by the weather” to “The best things in life aren’t things.” The front words are the ones that give me pause, serving their magic in the form of a nudge for me to keep my perspective; to remember life’s rainbows in times of rain.
Certainly life events shape us. As a child, having a fire destroy our home in the middle of the night created my need to (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things, Life |
Tagged: difficult times, good life, gratitude, In the Scheme of Things, inspiration, keep perspective, life challenges, lose perspective, Nan Russell, no rain no rainbows, rain, rainbows, rough patch |
Posted on August 9, 2017
By Nan Russell
A misty rain persisted while I wandered, nearly alone, on the grounds surrounding Blarney Castle, in County Cork, Ireland. Not far 
away was a tower remnant where the famous Blarney Stone is kissed by 400,000 visitors a year. My husband opted for stone-kissing; I was drawn to the gardens surrounding it.
It was The Poison Garden near the ruined castle walls that peaked my curiosity. A welcome sign stated the garden’s purpose was to educate visitors about the positive and negative aspects of poisonous plants; those “found both in the wild and in our own gardens.”
That morning, I learned that just a handful of people die each year from eating a poisonous plant in its natural state, but millions die from products made from those plants. The sign explained: “The plants aren’t ‘bad.’ We make them harmful by the ways in which we use them.”
Now weeks later, that statement’s lingering truth has been on my mind as (continue reading →)
Posted in: In the Scheme of Things |
Tagged: Blarney Castle, Blarney Stone, bright our light to the world, goodness, goodwill, In the Scheme of Things, Ireland, love, Nan Russell, poison, poison garden, word-gardens |
My husband gave me a card at the beginning of 2018 that’s been standing on my dresser ever since. I see its message when I wake up or wander into the bedroom. There’s a picture of an early sunrise on a distant horizon, its light spreading across an ocean with no land in sight. A figure on the deck of a sailboat watches the emerging colors in the sky.
