As a colleague of Nan’s, I frequently post here when things grab my attention about today’s workplace and sometimes, life. Last week, a colleague who I trusted, broke my trust and damaged our working relationship. I asked him to represent my interests at a meeting instead he only looked out for his interests and sold mine for a very high price tag. I admit I am still confused and disappointed.
• Take a Time Out – You don’t need to call it that. But when you feel like you’re teetering on the edge or spinning toward unproductive emotions, take a time out. Take a couple of deep breaths, walk outside for 5 minutes; get a cup of coffee or a diet coke (that’s what I did.) Self-monitoring can be a valuable skill.
• Be Curious – Once you can breathe normally (how long varies according to who you are and the situation.) Put your curious hat on and ask yourself a few questions. Your answers will help identify what’s next.
- What happened?
- Who was involved?
- Does it matter?
- How important is the relationship?
- How important is the outcome?
• Begin Again – If you decide to trust again, you will need to start first. If the relationship is worth rebuilding, your willingness to signal that it is; makes a difference to the outcome. You can restart trust with a small act of giving a little trust. It may not always work. And, not all relationships that matter can be trusted ones again. The decision is a personal one.
Only you can decide to trust again.
On a different note, you may have seen this story on TV or circulating in cyper-world. It touched my spirit and reminded me that kids are some of our best teachers. It’s about a young boy, a soldier and $20. Take a moment and read. www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/mar/4/boy-gives-soldier-20-he-found-because-troops-remin/