"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."  -Zen Saying
 

   December  

IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS …
reflections on this journey called life

By Nan S. Russell


Saying No to New Year's Resolutions

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions. Sure, I've made dozens, all with good intentions and a bit of magical thinking, believing this time the resolution will stick, this time I'll lose the weight, balance my life, or achieve the goal. This time things will be different.

While a few resolutions have stuck, generally my wishful self-promises end up broken. When that happens, self-esteem suffers, confidence takes a hit, and motivation wanes. When resolution falters and my trust in self weakens, it hurts, not helps, my view of an optimistic future.

Yet, I'm a huge fan of goals, dreams, and aspirations - whatever you call them. Mine come in a variety of forms, from a life-to-do-list to aspirational dreams. They've been dreams like a trip to Africa, moving to Montana, starting a business, and being a multiple book author.

One element these bigger goals have in common is that they weren't accomplished in one year, but in many; not by one New Year's resolution, but by the ongoing focus of what was important to me. They were achieved with baby steps.

So, instead of New Year's resolutions, I'm doing what I always do when the New Year enters - I'm celebrating my progress. What's different today from a year ago, I ask? If I can do more sit-ups this year than last, it goes on my progress list. If I've read ten books, I put it down. If a relationship with someone I care about has improved, it's there.

Then, I savor my list. It's amazing how good it feels to note progress, any progress, toward something that matters to me. This simple self-acknowledgement of movement during the past year inspires me in the next.

You see, here's the thing - when every day challenges and life-happens events collide with resolutions, the resolutions are the first to go. But when my goal is making progress toward my life's potential, I can keep that dream alive, no matter the ride.

It took twenty-five years for my husband and me to turn our dream of living and working in Montana into a reality. If we had made it a New Year's resolution, it would have been snuffed out long ago. Instead, it was an ongoing focus of who we were. Today we have new dreams we're working on in the same way, defined by how we want our future to look.

In the scheme of things, I've learned that it isn't the goal or dream that matters, it's the pursuit. It's our incremental progress that changes lives, builds futures, and opens a box of bigger possibilities. That's what builds the life you want. So as we collectively welcome 2012, may this year be a year of progress, for all of our dreams!

© 2011 Nan S. Russell. All Rights Reserved.

In the Scheme of Things is a monthly column. It is published in Montana, Ohio, Maine, Virginia, Canada, and as an eColumn on the web. You can enjoy it each month by subscribing to Nan’s free monthly eColumn. Use the subscribe button on this page, or click here.

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Readers' Comments:

Thank you for sharing from your heart what may be every women's story. You put it so beautifully that those who haven't stepped out into their own yet and want to, will. Robin

You are a beautiful writer and your message was something I needed to hear right now. Great timing. MC

Your work is terrific. Sometimes I feel your words are written just for me. Jay

I enjoy all your columns. Charles

I would really like a book of all your articles. I hope you're working on one. I print out each email and read it again and again during the month. Thanks for the inspiration. Terri

One of my friends introduced me to your work and I just love your writing. I so look forward to getting your column each month. Norma

Great. Great. Great. Keep 'em coming. Josh

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